kim saebom

Overseas adoption: child welfare or abuse?

saebom — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:35:25 +0000

Overseas adoption: child welfare or abuse? The Korea Times, 12-30-2011 16:00

By Kim Do-hyun

Some years ago, during a seminar about overseas adoption from Korea, I stated that the practice is “child abuse rather than child welfare.” Some of the social workers who were working for overseas adoption agencies looked very shocked when they heard my presentation.

After the seminar, some of them came to me and made strong complaints and protested. They argued, “Why do you insult and disgrace us, while we try to find sweet homes for abandoned children through overseas adoption?”

Korea’s overseas adoption program started immediately after the end of the 1950-53 Korean War. Now Korea’s per capita national income is more than $20,000 and the economy ranks in the world’s top 15, yet Korea is still one of the world’s major countries sending its own children overseas for adoption.

According to government statistics, Korea has sent nearly 200,000 children overseas for adoption from 1953 to the present. Among those children, there were 5,546 mixed-race children sent from 1955 to 1973 (after which mixed-race children were no longer counted because the vast majority of adoptees were full-blooded Koreans), 98,178 children from unwed mothers, 28,823 children from broken families, 29,950 abandoned children and 37,216 disabled children.

According to these statistics, through overseas adoption, we sent away the mixed-race children, the children of unwed mothers, disabled children, and the children of broken families. That is why I define Korea’s overseas adoption as a kind of “systematic social segregation.” Of course, as a member of Korean society, I am also complicit in this massive “systematic social segregation project.”

From a micro-perspective, overseas adoption can be seen as child welfare. In view of this, certainly I am very grateful to the adoptive parents in Western countries, who have looked after the abandoned Korean children with “philanthropic love.” I also am deeply appreciative of the various social workers in adoption agencies, police stations, maternity clinics and orphanages, to name but a few, who have tried to provide a sweet home for abandoned children. However, from a macro-perspective, the overseas adoption program of Korea has been deeply related to the international social system.

First, overseas adoption is a kind of child abuse by the state. Second, the overseas adoption policy of the government was likely a part of its economic development strategy, which means the overseas adoptees have been used as part of a project to create wealth and prosperity for the rest of the South Koreans.

Overseas adoption is the forced expulsion of children from the society where they are supposed to live. In this sense, overseas adoption is a social violence against children. As humans, we exist as part of a gigantic ecosystem. The existence of the biological parents of adoptees can never be annihilated nor denied. Accordingly, while adoptees are growing up, they should be given information about their biological parents and be able to interact with them. By doing so, adoptees can form their identity with less conflict.

Overseas adoption is a forced separation of children from their natural ecosystems, as well as a way of forcing them into compulsory unity with settings different from and unnatural to their genetic and original social systems. Through this forced separation and compulsory unity, not only the adoptees, but also their biological parents, adoptive parents and their family members suffer trauma.

The overseas adoption of Korean children can be seen as child abuse since it has been interrelated with the economic development strategy of the government. How can we call the overseas adoption program of Korea “child welfare” when we create wealth and prosperity by forcefully expelling them?

According to government statistics, overseas adoptions peaked during the 1970s and ‘80s. Between 1953 and 1968, fewer than 1,000 children were sent away for overseas adoption annually. This figure rose sharply: in 1969, 1,192 children were sent; in 1970, 1,932; in 1971, 2,725; and in 1985, 8,837. Throughout the 1970s and 1980s, 113,568 children were sent for overseas adoption ― more than half of all overseas adoptees in the last six decades.

During the 1970s and ‘80s, “economic development” was the national motto of our society. In view of this, “child export” was used as a tool that promoted economic development and created wealth in our country. In 1988, Matthew Rothschild of The Progressive magazine pointed out that a Korean adoption agency received $5,000 per child as a fee from abroad in return for an overseas adoption. This went up to $10,000 per child by 2000 ― what a land of economic prosperity!

Through the figure given by The Progressive, we can estimate that throughout the 1970s and 1980s, Korea earned between $20 and $40 million annually from the overseas adoption business. At that time, if any Korean company exported even $1 million in goods, they were acknowledged by the government.

Incidentally, it is quite common to find letters of appreciation sent in the 1970s by Korean ambassadors to adoptive parents in Europe. Given this information, it is plausible that in the 1970s, the Korean government itself was the main driving force promoting overseas adoption as a national policy.

By sending nearly 200,000 children for overseas adoption to date, the government may have saved a considerable amount of money. In this respect, the overseas adoption policy killed two birds with one stone. On one hand, it brought in hard currency, while on the other hand, it cut welfare costs.

It is clear that the government systematically promoted overseas adoption and used children as a tool for economic development while neglecting its duty to protect children’s rights.

Pastor Kim Do-hyun is a director of KoRoot, a nonprofit organization that provides assistance to Korean children who had been adopted overseas. He can be reached at: master@koroot.org.

Overseas adoption: child welfare or abuse?

By Kim Do-hyun

It is clear that the government systematically promoted overseas adoption and used children as a tool for economic development while neglecting its duty to protect children’s rights.

Pastor Kim Do-hyun is a director of KoRoot, a nonprofit organization that provides assistance to Korean children who had been adopted overseas. He can be reached at: master@koroot.org.

Korea (and adoption) in the news

saebom — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:57:56 +0000

Korean-American Director Rediscovers Roots, The Chosunilbo, December 3, 2011

Tammy Chu was adopted by an American family at the age of nine and raised in rural New York state. She never saw another Korean until she went to college. “I remember what my birth parents looked like, but I forgot how to speak Korean and memories of Korean culture also disappeared from my mind,” she recalls.

Chu became a documentary film director and came back to Korea in 1998 for a project. “When I came to Seoul, it felt strange yet familiar and uncomfortable yet comfortable.”

She now lives in an apartment in Itaewon. She had shuttled back and forth from New York and Seoul for some 10 years and eventually decided to settle down here. Last year Chu, who can now understand a lot of Korean, won the top prize for a documentary at the Busan International Film Festival for her film “Resilience,” which focused on Korean adoptees.

Read the full article here.

South Korea’s Baby Mill, Asia Sentinel, THURSDAY, 01 DECEMBER 2011.

Despite a faltering birth rate, Korea still exports more adoptees than any other country

Despite having one of the world’s lowest birthrates and the 14th-largest economy, South Korea is a major source of infants adopted internationally each year.

As the country has grown richer, its total fertility rate has fallen to the lowest level in the industrialized world, from more than six babies per mother in 1960 to 1.15 today, far below the accepted replacement level of 2.1 per mother, according to figures supplied by the World Bank. Despite that, there seems little impetus to keep its adoptable children at home. Many factors are at work that lead to South Korean babies being adopted, both domestically and abroad.

According to the Korean Ministry of Health, an estimated Korean 220,000 babies have been adopted by parents in 14 receiving countries since the global child diaspora began in 1955 when an American couple, Bertha and Henry Holt, adopted eight at one go.

Read the full article here.

Korea Still Sends Hundreds of Babies Abroad for Adoption, The ChosunIlbo, November 23, 2011

Korea is still sending hundreds of babies for adoption to the U.S., highlighting the need to strengthen child protection in the country. According to the 2011 Annual Adoption Report to Congress released Friday, out of the total of 2,047 foreign-born children adopted by U.S. families from October 2010 to September 2011, 734 or 36 percent were from Korea.

Worldwide, China was the birthplace of most children adopted overseas with 2,589 out of all 9,320 children. Next came Ethiopia with 1,727 and Russia with 970. Korea ranked fourth with 736, followed by 632 from Ukraine, 230 from the Philippines, 228 from India, 207 from Uganda, and 205 from Taiwan.

Read the full article here.

K-pop: Soft Power for the Global Cool, Huffington Post, 11/14/11

From the unapologetic fanaticism that is often connected with hallyu (the recent spread of Korean culture around the globe), it is almost as if the K-pop factor just fell onto the South Korean government’s lap, eagerly waiting to be used as an instrument for expanding soft power and cultural engagement with the world.

For a small country with humble beginnings, South Korea is now under the global spotlight in myriad ways. Just this week Google revealed its latest mission to set up a YouTube channel exclusively for K-pop. Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman at Google, visited Seoul to meet with President Lee Myung-bak as well as a slew of top executives at several major IT organizations in order to gain support for this project.

The K-pop sensation burst onto the already-existing Asian pop music scene years ago, but its carefully organized system of matching good looking young singers (now often bilingual in English, Japanese, or Chinese — and chosen in order to enter those respective markets) with globally-attractive dance beats and ballads has clearly been adopted as the au courant choice of dance/pop style not only within Asian borders but in the Western sphere as well.

Read the full article here.

Ah, the quest for looking exactly the same. . .

saebom — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 15:37:16 +0000

In South Korea, Plastic Surgery Comes Out of the Closet

Jean Chung for the International Herald Tribune

Dr. Park Sang-hoon, head of a top-ranked clinic in southern Seoul, consulted with Chang Hae-jin after her double-jaw surgery, a procedure that involves cutting and rearranging the upper and lower jaws.

By CHOE SANG-HUN

Published: November 3, 2011

SEOUL — With a blue pen, Dr. Seo Young-tae drew arches on Chang Hyang-sook’s eyelids, marking where to cut and stitch to create a new fold to make her eyes look larger and rounder. It is an operation so common here that most women on Seoul streets seem to have a double fold, though only one of every five Koreans is born with one.

Jean Chung for the International Herald Tribune

Chang Hyang-sook, a makeup artist, paid the 2.3 million won, or about $2,000, to make her eyes look larger and rounder.

“Promise you’ll do a great job on my eyes,” Ms. Chang said to Dr. Seo. “Never mind the pain. I can take it.”

For Ms. Chang, 25, a makeup artist, the 2.3 million won, or about $2,000, eye job is just the finishing touch in a program several months long to remake her face. In the previous two months, Ms. Chang had not only had her teeth rearranged, but her jaw bones cut and repositioned, for 22 million won.

“You must endure pain to be beautiful,” she said, adding that an eye job is so routine these days “it’s not even considered surgery.”

Cosmetic surgery has long been widespread in South Korea. But until recently, it was something to keep quiet about. No longer.

And as society has become more open about the practice, surgeries have become increasingly extreme. Double-jaw surgery — which was originally developed to repair facial deformities, and involves cutting and rearranging the upper and lower jaws — has become a favorite procedure for South Korean women who are no longer satisfied with mere nose jobs or with paring down cheekbones to achieve a smoother facial line.

Celebrities have helped to drive the trend, as they scramble to keep ahead of digital technology that mercilessly exposes not only their physical imperfections, but any attempts to remedy them, said Rando Kim, a professor of consumer science at Seoul National University.

“Wide-screen and high-definition TV put pressure on them to look good in close-ups,” Mr. Kim said. “And with the Internet, where people like to post ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures, they can no longer hide it. So they go public, often talking proudly about it on TV.”

That, in turn, has encouraged greater openness among ordinary South Koreans.

“It used to be all hush-hush when mothers brought their daughters in for a face-lift before taking them to match-makers,” said Dr. Park Sang-hoon, head of ID Hospital. “Now young women go plastic surgery shopping around here.”

Dr. Park’s is a top-ranked clinic in Seoul’s “beauty belt,” a swarm of hundreds of plastic surgery clinics clustered around a string of subway stations in the upscale districts of southern Seoul.

“Where did you get it?” asks one of the ads for clinics that cover the walls at the entrances of the Apgujeong subway station, the center of the beauty belt. “What about your nose? And your chin?”

Parents may promise their daughter an eye job if she passes her college entrance exam. In Apgujeong, it is not hard to find young women shopping in department stores immediately after their surgeries, wearing masks or sunglasses.

“Korean women want a revolution with their face,” said Dr. Park, a leading practitioner of double-jaw surgery.

“What we do in double-jaw surgery is to reassemble the face,” said Dr. Park, whose clinic has performed 3,000 such procedures in the past six years. “Normal people become, sort of, super-normal, and pretty people prettier.”

In traditional Korea, tampering with the body bestowed by one’s parents was a violation of Confucian precepts that also discouraged cremation and, later, organ and blood donations.

But in recent decades, cosmetic surgery has become a weapon in Koreans’ efforts to impress others, “like buying an expensive handbag,” said Whang Sang-min, a psychologist at Yonsei University.

Cosmetic surgery is not covered by national health insurance, making it difficult to determine the exact size of the industry. A survey last year by the Seoul city government found that 31.5 percent of residents 15 or older were willing to undergo surgery to improve their looks. In 2007 the percentage was 21.5.

In a 2009 survey by the market research firm Trend Monitor, one of every five women in Seoul between the ages of 19 and 49 said they had undergone plastic surgery.

Read the rest here.

How to get a Korean boyfriend – ㅎㅎㅎ hilarious

saebom — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:04:07 +0000

saebom — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:08:44 +0000

Villager recounts tale of saving infant’s life while on duty in S. Korea, a baby that later became his daughter

George Horsford, Daily Sun

Herb Boyce

Herb Boyce, of The Villages, displays his book, ‘Land of The Morning Calm’. Boyce wrote the book under the pen name Harry Bryce.

Posted: Monday, October 31, 2011 8:00 am

By Livi Stanford, Daily Sun

THE VILLAGES — Something had moved in the tall grass alerting 1st Lt. Col. Herb Boyce immediately.

The resident of The Villages was on a search and destroy mission with the Korean Army in a small village about 40 miles outside of Chun Chon, South Korea, in  October 1968.

The North Korean infiltrators, Boyce explained, pointing to the loss of life including livestock, had destroyed everything in the village.

Little did Boyce know that what he would he would find in the grass would change his life forever.

Drawing his .45 caliber pistol for protection, Boyce slowly walked over to discover a tiny baby girl wrapped in a threadbare blanket.

“She was ice cold,” Boyce said of the baby girl, tears filling his green eyes. “I wrapped her up in a field jacket and called for a helicopter.”

The baby was holding on for dear life, Boyce remembered, as she was dehydrated and had not developed a sucking reflex.

In his book titled “Land of the Morning Calm,” Boyce described the baby girl and just how fragile she was.

“As I gingerly lifted the infant; it emitted a fully body shudder,” he wrote. “The tattered blue blanket fell away revealing that the baby’s umbilical cord was still attached.”

The baby weighed less than 3 pounds, Boyce remembered, sitting at the kitchen table of his home.

Immediately, he said it was a race to save the baby’s life because he understood the challenges that would arise getting the medical aid she would need on an Army base, where such aid was difficult to find.

One of the first calls Boyce made was to his wife, who was a Canadian nurse at a hospital near the Army base.

When she appeared at the base, she was shocked to see the baby in such a state,  Boyce said.

A three-month-long fight

It then became a three-month-long fight to save the infant’s life, he said.

“We had to bring up her birth weight,” he said. “There was no incubator.”

And the baby who would later be named Wendy was declining fast.

“What my wife did is take a terry cloth bathrobe and put the baby up against her bare skin, pulling the bathrobe over her,  (staying) next to a space heater to keep the baby warm.” It was a difficult period for the couple and Boyce still gets emotional speaking about it. “She was so dehydrated,” he said of Wendy. “You would pinch the skin and it would not go back and she was allergic to anything that had milk in it.”

It was heart wrenching for Boyce, who was worried she would not pull through.

At first, Boyce said they gave Wendy distilled water and honey out of an eye dropper before resorting to tiny baby bottles, which they filled with soybean milk formula the baby could tolerate.

Three months later, Boyce said they were able to get the baby’s weight up to 5 pounds.

Hearing Wendy cry for the first time was also a joyful experience for Boyce.

Boyce writes: “The first time the baby cried, it was comical; it was the most ridiculous tiny little squeaking noise I’ve ever heard.”

This, he insisted, was a good sign that Wendy was indeed getting stronger as earlier she could not cry.

Once the couple nursed her back to health, they knew they could not let her go.

“When I came home that night, my wife said, ‘I can’t give this baby up.’”

In agreement, they began drawing up the paperwork for adoption.

“We both had a good cry,” he said.

Another hurdle

But the adoption process far from easy.

Boyce said he was faced with a timetable, as he had to leave the country to go serve in another part of the world.

“You have to go through all these jumping hoops to adopt the baby,” he said.

He said it was particularly hard to adopt in South Korea, where they would only allow an adoption if the baby was registered at the orphanage in Seoul.

But Boyce was determined not to give up doing everything he could to adopt Wendy.

He said he ended up having to pay people like the local police to do what they could to get Wendy out of the country.

It took “four and a half months to adopt her,” he said. “I had to get her registered in an orphanage and had to pay some people.”

If he had not gotten Wendy out of the country, Boyce said he was certain she would have died.

Finding the money to pay for her adoption was also difficult.

“Being a 1st lieutenant in the Army and getting $294 a month, I borrowed against my salary,” he said, explaining that it required him to serve longer in the Army.

(Boyce served a total of 25 years in the military, serving in Korea, Vietnam and Europe from 1965-90.)

More hang-ups continued with the immigration officer postponing his application.

Boyce said he had to leave the country, leaving his wife to finish the application process.

A new beginning

As Boyce’s wife finally made her way with Wendy out of the country in February 1969, there was a horrendous snowstorm she had to encounter, he said.

She began walking the two miles toward the airport with Wendy in her arms when a snowplow picked her up, bringing her to the airport.

But that was not the end of her rough ordeal.

Because she was Canadian, Boyce said officials didn’t want to let her in the country after she arrived in Seattle, telling her to fly back to Canada first and re-enter the country on a flight from there.

A frustrated Boyce said his wife handed the baby to an immigration official, saying “I’ll be back. I am going to Canada. You take care of her.”

As a result, the official immediately came up with a solution and told her to wait.

A loving family

In a telephone interview from her home in Melbourne, Wendy Boyce Green said she felt grateful for what her father did for her.

“I have always felt like no matter what happened in my life, I am grateful to them for giving me a life basically,” she said.

Wendy remembers being told her story when she was young.

At first “I could not fully comprehend it but over the years you become fascinated with it.”

Growing up, Wendy said she never felt like she was adopted, saying she was always supported and loved unconditionally.

Even when she got frustrated as a teenager, Wendy said she never lost sight of the fact that her parents saved her life.

“Sometimes when you are a teenager if something does not go right you get angry at your parents,” she said. “I would never hold grudges or show total disrespect because of what they did for me. I would love and respect them no matter what.”

Boyce insists that he is the one that is blessed.

Thinking about how he found his daughter, Boyce said he sometimes stays awake at night marveling at it all.

In particular, he said he was also blessed to have three grandsons.

“You wonder how life works,” he said. “Why did this all happen? Maybe one of (Wendy’s) boys will come up with a cure for cancer. “I hope to live to find it out.”

Livi Stanford is a reporter with the Daily Sun. She can be reached at 753-1119, ext. 9245, orlivi.stanford@thevillagesmedia.com.

Students meet South Korean president at White House

saebom — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:36:05 +0000

White House Trip Makes an Impact on Students, Centreville Patch

Colin Powell Elementary and Centreville High students recently attended a ceremony welcoming South Korea’s president to the United States.

Centreville High students at the arrival ceremony for the South Korean president. Credit courtesy Centreville High

Photos

Eighty local students made the trip of a lifetime this month—though the destination was under 30 miles away from Centreville.

At the invitation of the White House, Colin Powell Elementary and Centreville High School students attended a ceremony on the South Lawn on Oct. 13th to greet the South Korean president, Lee Myung-bak, during his visit to the United States.

The day was rainy and cloudy, but the students didn’t mind, said Colin Powell principal Linda Clifford. The experience of visiting the White House in person, and seeing two presidents up close, was something that overwhelmed all other considerations.

“Even though they were drenched in water, they were happy,” said Jean No, a CVHS counselor and sponsor of the Korean Club.

The students from both schools left Centreville around 6 a.m. in order to get to the White House by 7 a.m. Everyone then proceeded to go through three separate security checkpoints. Then, they waited for the ceremony to start.

Because the lawn was so wet and it was drizzling outside, staff then made an announcement that the ceremony would take place inside the White House. A couple thousand people went home. All of the students stayed though, after having made the drive out and gotten their hopes up.

Fortunately, the staff reconsidered. The students from Centreville High stood behind South Korean delegates, who asked them questions in Korean. Everyone was fascinated with the military displays, while they waited, too. Myung-bak and Obama both made speeches during the event, and the students caught sight of Michelle Obama and the first lady of South Korea, Kim Yoon-ok.

Most of the CVHS students were Korean-Americans and some were also members of the school’sKorean Club.

“I’ve never been to Korea, so seeing a part of Korea come to America was a great honor,” said Ji Yun Lee, a Centreville student.

No said that the trip was about much more than just a trip to the White House: it was a chance for the students to learn about their heritage.

“I wanted to give them an opportunity to be proud of where they came from,” said No.

Some students said they also learned about the close ties between their native (and in some cases, adopted) country and the country of their ancestors.

“I didn’t realize before how close allegiances were between South Korea and the U.S.,” said Sunjoo Lee, a CVHS student.

The fact that Obama spoke partially in Korean, and like he was speaking to a friend, “that means a lot,” said Ji Yun Lee.

But for most students, the most exciting part of the day was getting to shake hands with Obama and Myung-bak.

“They were just beside themselves,” said Clifford, of her first graders’ reactions. There were a lot of kids saying ‘I’m never going to wash this hand,’ and ‘this hand was touched by the president,’ she said.

And the day was something that people are still talking about at both schools.

“It was the experience of a lifetime,” said CVHS principal Michael Campbell—a sentiment Clifford echoed.

“It was rainy, wet, cold, but I’m sure every one of them would do it again,” she said.

—————————————————————————————————–

I wish the writer didn’t write “Obama and Myung-bak.” Come on, the president’s surname is Lee, not Myung-bak!

An American adoptee story

saebom — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:24:43 +0000

Korean orphan grows up to find love, contentment in Foley, al.com, Published: Friday, October 14, 2011, 8:44 AM

FOLEY, Alabama — Mihyon Ellis’ life with her husband, Frank, in Foley is worlds apart from how her life began.

Get to Know Mihyon Ellis of Foley

She was an orphan in Seoul, Korea, hungry and without a home. An American serviceman’s family adopted her when she was 11 years old. They took her to live with them in Florida and then California. It was not a pleasant atmosphere to grow up in — Ellis was treated more like a servant than a child. By the time she was 15 years old, Ellis was already working full time, first in a sewing factory and then in an insurance company.

“I couldn’t wait to get away from my stepparents’ home because it was not a loving environment. I went straight from high school graduation in St. Petersburg, Fla., to living on my own,” Ellis said. She worked as a freelance administrative consultant and office manager for a series of businesses, from a hotel chain to an architectural firm.

Ellis moved to Baltimore when she was 21. By the time she met her husband, she was working for the National Center for the Blind typesetting all their publications and she had a second job modeling.

Ellis met Frank at the Christmas party of a mutual client. “When Frank asked to see me again after that party, I expected it to be a business meeting, but it wasn’t long before we were married.”

Frank Ellis was traveling extensively on business the couple married and he often visited his mother and sister in Daphne. He introduced her to the South, where he had his roots, and she was captivated.

“People were so friendly, I was happier living here than I was in Maryland,” she said.

Get to Know Mihyon Ellis
Birthplace: Seoul, Korea
Hometown: Foley
Occupation: Manager, Wolf Bay Landing Condominiums
Activities: Cooking, boating, reading

Soon after they were married, they got the chance to buy a waterfront condominium complex, Wolf Bay Landing, in Foley. They had never been landlords, never managed a hotel, but they bought 62 vacation units on 62 acres.

“It’s a natural oasis. Close to everything, and it’s the only waterfront vacation rental in Foley,” Ellis said. She wasn’t planning to become the property manager, but it soon became clear that the place needed hands-on, full-time attention.

“We consider ourselves stewards of this sanctuary,” she said. “Frank and I come from very different backgrounds, but we both have a desire to serve people and we believe in giving to the community. I’m so grateful to be here.”

More adoptees in the news. . .

saebom — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 13:35:17 +0000

Fridley Resident Organizes Slutwalk to Give Rape Survivors a Voice

Local rally and march is part of international movement.

By Laurie Buck
Email the author
October 1, 2011

October ends with Anoka’s parade of costumed marchers. Costumed walkers in the Oct. 1, 2011, SlutWalk in Minneapolis will have a much different message: Rape is Rape and No Means No and that the “rape culture” we live in needs to change.

Kimberia Sherva, one of the organizers of the event, is from Fridley and is a survivor.

Fridley Patch: You’re from Fridley? Are you originally from here?

Kimberia Sherva: I was born in Seoul, Korea. I was adopted and raised in Detroit Lakes and moved to the cities in my early 20’s.

Patch: And you’re 25 now?

Sherva: People ask that a lot. No, I’m 40.

Patch: SlutWalk Minneapolis has been getting a lot of press. How do you feel being thrust into the spotlight?

Sherva: Something like Sally Field in her Oscar acceptance speech “You like me, you really like me”. It’s really important because of the message we’re trying to get out. There have been a lot of assumptions and perceptions about the name. There isn’t a problem with the walk but the way people feel about the word ‘slut’ before it. What we’re trying to say to people is ‘OK, we know it’s a hard word, but there’s a reason why that word was chosen.

Patch: You had an open mic night last night. Why did you feel that was necessary?

Sherva: We wanted to give rape survivors and victims of sexual assault a venue to talk if they wanted to. In any way shape or form, be it talk, sing, tell a story, read a poem, anything they felt comfortable doing, or just be there for support. It was a no pressure environment; no one was pressured to do anything. There was talking, there was sharing, and in the end, I feel it was very empowering and positive. There were moments when we cried, moments when we laughed, and there were moments when there were just hugs. It was wonderful.

Patch: How do you feel about the fact that you are going to have over a thousand people at your walk? There are over 1,300 registered on your website and many more who have replied with “maybe” on your Facebook Event page.

Sherva: It’s actually like a big old Christmas present. We’ve worked very hard to get the word out, about who we are and what we’re trying to do to get the message out. That many people validating it, that they believe that as well, it’s often terrifying that there will be that many people, but it’s also empowering and we hope that everyone looks around at everyone else, and they will, because I have something up my sleeve for the opening ceremony, where all will be saying ‘we’re in this together, this is so cool and awesome’, with connections, new friendships and new bonds being made, and all sorts of really positive energy from that amount of people.

Patch: This is very personal for you.

Sherva: It is. If a person has been raped once, it can be easy to escape the victim-blaming. But as a person who has been raped more than once, at some point in time it shifts towards What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? Why does this keep happening to you? There’s got to be something that you keep doing to—I don’t want to say deserve it—but to allow it. And no one allows rape. Not once, not twice, not 10 times, not 20 times. People need to understand that. And because of the way we’ve been raised—in a rape society—that person gets looked down upon.

Patch: I may be naive, but how does it happen that a person can be raped multiple times?

Sherva: Rapes happen between people who know each other about 85-90 percent of the time. When you look at that, you know that it’s a boyfriend, a husband, a friend, or a relative. That’s when those numbers start piling up. When you’re in a marriage where you’re being forced to have sex every night, 20 rapes is nothing. In an abusive marriage, that happens more than we know.

Patch: People have a problem with the term “Slut” in SlutWalk. Why?

Sherva: Because slut is such a triggering phrase, such a dirty word to use, why even use it? And that is our point exactly for using it. When you call someone a slut, you’re degrading them, you’re defaming them, you’re blaming them, and you’re shaming them. That needs to stop because it’s none of the victim’s fault. When you call someone that in a rape situation, you’re blaming the victim. When someone gets raped more than once, say in a long-term relationship or a marriage, they already feel enough shame, and calling them a slut because of that, surely isn’t going to help matters.

Patch: In that situation, though, would a woman be called a slut?

Sherva: The point we’re trying to make is that using that word to define a person who has been raped doesn’t define rape. Is a child a slut? Is an elderly person a slut? Is your mother, your aunt, your cousin, your best friend a slut? No? Then what gives people the right to call someone else that name, because when you call someone THAT name, you’re calling someone that someone else LOVES that name? Why would you want to hurt someone by using that name at all and why would you want to BLAME that person for the rape or sexual assault in the first place by using that name as a weapon?

Patch: What can you say to a young man, in his teens or early twenties, to teach him and his peers how NOT to perpetuate the rape culture in our society?

Sherva: First of all, let’s say they’re going off to school to college and they go to a party, because that’s what happens, and let’s say there is a group of their guy friends and one of the guys says, “See that girl there, she’s kind of drunk, dude, I’m going to get lucky tonight.” What’s the thing to do? Teach those young men to step up and say, “Dude, you’d better not, don’t you touch her, and if you DO try anything and we hear about it, that we will testify that this is what you said and you’re gonna go to jail, so you’d better think twice.”

These flashmob marriage proposals are so cute. . .

saebom — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 15:12:41 +0000

You’ve probably seen these by now, and if not then you should! For some reason they make me cry. . .it could be because I’m hormone-ramped and emotional. . .who knows. Anyway, they’re so cute!

OFFICIAL Trang and Nam Proposal Flash Mob at UCLA 9-24-11
Nam and Trang met eachother on the campus of UCLA.
He decided to bring her back to where they met for the ultimate surprise!

I love her reaction when she first hears the music.

Jamin’s Downtown Disney Flashmob Proposal
This next one has a bit more advanced dancing. The first one anyone can (and does–all ages) do the dancing. But in this one you can tell their friends really got some rhythm. Again, very sweet.

Maylee Oddo: Volunteering is a way of life for mother of two, Ashland Daily Tidings, Posted: 2:00 AM September 28, 2011

saebom — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 15:13:07 +0000

Maylee Oddo

Volunteering is a way of life for mother of two

Maylee Oddo, who works at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, says volunteering is “this lovely intersection of values and passion without encumbrances or entitlement or obligation.” Bob Pennell / Ashland Daily TidingsBob Pennell

By Angela Decker for the Tidings Posted: 2:00 AM September 28, 2011

Locals may recognize Maylee Oddo from various Ashland events, such as the independent film festival, the Martin Luther King festival, fundraisers for Ashland schools.

For Oddo, volunteering is a way of life that began in her teens. She’s offered a helping hand to homeless shelters and literacy organizations, helped displaced refugees, led youth groups, campaigned for local school levies and bonds, and worked for a crisis-intervention center for battered women.

“For me, volunteer work is this lovely intersection of values and passion without encumbrances or entitlement or obligation,” said the 47-year-old mother of two. “I’ve gained so much more than I have ever given.”

Oddo added that one of her favorite volunteer jobs was serving on the board of the Ashland Schools Foundation. “It is an incredible organization, and to work in Ashland is the best. People here understand the value of an education and they are so generous and supportive.”

Oddo, who also works in the fundraising division of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, spoke with the Daily Tidings about her passion for community involvement.

DT: Where are you from originally?

MO: I was born in Pusan, Korea, but I grew up in Portland and lived in several areas of the Midwest.

DT: What brought you to Ashland?

MO: I wanted to return to Oregon to be closer to my family. I chose Ashland because it is a great town, and in particular because of the quality of the public schools. When I moved here, my kids were little. It has been 11 years and I love it. My son is a junior at Ashland High and my daughter has graduated. I am so happy with the schools here.

DT: What do you do at OSF?

MO: I’m in development, the fundraising arm of the festival. I was very fortunate when I was hired. I had left manufacturing engineering to raise a family and I had not worked outside of the home for over a decade. OSF took a chance on me and hired me based on my local volunteer work. OSF is a hybrid of arts and commerce, and there is something beautiful about that. The job fits well with my interests.

DT: What are some favorite aspects of your work?

MO: The fantastic people, the incredible art, the intellectual curiosity and talent, the sincere and universal will for the greater good.

DT: When did you begin volunteering?

MO: Oh boy. I’ve been volunteering since I was 16. Because of that I’ve literally gotten to see the world. I’ve learned so much about people and our humanity, and I have met the most amazing people. I really didn’t do that much at any given time, as it was spread out over years. There are others who truly do and give so much more.

DT: Do you have advice for people looking to volunteer?

MO: In Ashland there are so many rich opportunities to connect with the community. Whether it is with the schools or the theater or running, I haven’t seen any arrogance. If you show an interest in something here, people will want to pull you in. Just look around. This a great community for doing service. There are so many ways to contribute to the community and have really rich experiences.

DT: What do you do at the Ashland Schools Foundation?

MO: The tele-funding mostly, when we call and ask for donations. I was on the grant committee, the chair of the fund drive for three or four years, and I was the board chair for a couple years. I stepped down from the board. It was time to give other people a voice. I’m a strong personality, I can be a loudmouth. That’s why there are term limits. ASF represents the intersection of my values, my strong feelings about education and the community. I am still just blown away by all the hard work the foundation does — it is amazing.

DT: Do your children volunteer?

MO: My daughter still volunteers with the Ashland Schools Foundation. She’s been to more of the tele-funding nights than I have.

DT: What organizations are you working with now?

MO: Currently, I’m on my alma mater’s alumni council and do a little talk every now and then for prospective parents adopting trans-racially. I am also on the Ashland Independent Film Festival’s advisory council, but will be stepping down to become a screener for them soon and am totally thrilled.

DT: Do you have family in the area?

MO: I have my kids here and my family in Portland. I was adopted into a family of six boys and one girl. I love my family. I talk to my mom almost every day. In 2000, I also connected with my biological family, some in South Korea, some in Portland. My family is big. It’s a big topic.

DT: What are some of your outside interests?

MO: I wouldn’t consider myself a runner, but I’ve somehow managed to find myself doing a bunch of races lately. I also like to hike and want to do Kilimanjaro someday. I love arts and crafts, knitting, sewing, embroidery, you name it. And I love dancing, like just going to a bar and boogying down. Enjoying these things is not to be confused with being good at doing any of them.

DT: Is there anyone in the area you admire or who inspires you?

MO: Oh my gosh, there are so many amazing people here in the valley who have my utter admiration and devotion, more so than any other of the dozens of places I’ve lived. I admire people who live their lives with integrity, wit, humility, humor and grace.

Angela Decker is a freelance writer in Ashland and can be reached at decker4@gmail.com.