Lately

I just had a phone interview with a G00gle. It went well. Next week  I will go to their offices and take their logic and writing test. I’m a little nervous about that; logic is not my strong point, and the tests are the type of things that rile me.

I recently recognized I have a problem believing in myself. It became clear a few weeks ago in conversation with a new friend.

I told her how I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything in life other than my marriage; it would be considered my greatest accomplishment. I don’t have a career or a job or any money. She said that obviously this wasn’t true because I’d been connecting her with tons of people lately who were responding right away, positively, so obviously I’d done more than I realized, and she valued things like these relationships more than she valued money and a job. To her I’d made strong and meaningful connections with people and this was demonstrated by the way in which these people had been responding to her.

See, she had just moved here from California and doesn’t know anyone but wants to get involved in the Asian-American community. So I’d been connecting her with people I know who share mutual interests; who are leaders in the community in various ways. The speed at which they’d responded to her struck me (frightened me a little!) It seemed as soon as I’d sent the intro over faceb00k they’d already be conversing. (How does that happen so quickly?)

It was really nice of her to say this, and really nice to have someone be believing in me. Because lately I feel so stuck.

I don’t know what to do. I look for jobs but none of them really interest me so I don’t even find many I want to even apply to. I know finding a job is a priority and I should be giving it my all. A lot of the time I end up talking with friends from Korea; friends who are either there are in other parts of the world. Not everyone I’ve met there is still there. People are in so many different places in so many different time zones that it seems there’s always someone to chat with on fb no matter what time it is.

Granted I have been connecting a lot of people here. That’s probably the one thing I have been successfully doing. Soon I will try and set this new friend up on some blind dates. I’ve also connected the Pastor at the Korean church I volunteer at with an incredibly accomplished academic who is also a leader in the Korean community. They share mutual interests but didn’t know of each other. So that makes me really happy to do that.

  • I am also promoting Boston Korean Adoptees Film Festival that will happen at the end of the month, October 29-30 at UMASS Boston. (Early bird registration ends the 15th!) You should go if you can! I’m trying to get some friends to fly in for it! I’m really excited about this because we’re getting two of the directors of the films to come for Q&A.
  • Right now I’m working with a few other people to pull together a writing workshop for two Asian American arts organizations in Boston. I will probably be hosting or co-hosting the workshop when it happens.
  • In a few weeks I will moderate a panel for ASPIRE’s Leadership Conference.
  • I almost forgot I said I would help write or edit a new newsletter for a new organization that helps Korean-American youth.
  • I’m still volunteering at the church about once a week. The Pastor speaks to me in Korean and mostly I speak back in English. I feel like a second generation Korean, which is what she tells people I am as an explanation as to why I don’t speak.
  • I’m also doing lunches here and there with friend and colleagues. (And most of them seem to be free–thanks that means a lot!) Next week I’ll go to checkout the new building my favorite organization I worked at for 4 years just moved into. Very excited about that.
  • Next week I’m alos meeting up with an ED to talk about a part-time position of an AA org I have been involved in. We’ll see.


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